Jesus brought me to Himself

[Lynne]

I was born into a vehemently atheistic family. My brother was eighteen years old and my sister was sixteen when I was born. I was accidentally conceived, my mom was suicidal but swears I personally as a fetus kept her from killing herself (crazy Mom), and my parents' marriage was long burned out.

When I was four years old we moved and the new neighbors invited me to go along with their kids to church but I don't remember what kind of church it was. I do remember being told Jesus loves me because He loves all the little children and the Bible tells me so. I was starved for love as my mom was mentally ill and my dad was gone a lot so my brother and sister basically raised me until they went to college and abandoned me. I fell in love with Jesus. In that nursery class they taught me stealing was wrong. I had taken a toy from my playmate because I wanted it. I was overwhelmed by a conviction of guilt and returned the toy. I've never stolen anything since. I don't think I attended more than a couple of times because my mom had a huge, never to resolved feud with those neighbors and they quit speaking.

I insisted on praying every night and made my mom listen. She wasn't happy about it and told me to just pray to myself, so I did. Somehow I wound up with a glow in the dark Jesus. I clutched it to myself all night every night (I was a sleepwalking, nightmare screaming, insomniac little kid) until one of the four adults in my life told me it was radioactive and would give me cancer and they took it away. My parents bought a camping trailer second hand and it came with a picture of Jesus (the long haired beautiful Jesus looking slightly up) varnished on a slice of a tree and I insisted on keeping it and had them hang it on my bedroom wall where I could see it from my bed. Another neighborhood mother held Bible studies in her home for the kids. I came back rhapsodizing about Heaven to my Mom but she told me no one knows anything about God or Heaven and pulled me out of it. The woman teaching the class never let me play with her kids again. Mom must have said something pretty bad to her.

I'm just going to say that Jesus talked to me. He told me things I verified in the Bible years later. I know I was severely ill many times over and some of our conversations were held while I had high convulsive fevers, but that doesn't explain it away.

I never went to church again but I always loved Jesus. I became an atheist and I still loved Jesus; I know, that makes no sense. I was a wayward, alcoholic, drug using, anorexic, self-mutilating, suicidal, young occultist and I still loved Jesus. I have loved Jesus since the minute they told me about Him.

This isn't the story about how He finally straightened me out. That post would be ridiculously long. But it is my feeble attempt to thank Him for loving that lost and miserable little four year old through all the years I was a million miles away from His will. He never let me go and I still love Him with all of my heart. He was my first love.

[Vania]

Bless you, Lynne! Thank you for sharing that. Isn't it wonderful how the Lord works???

[William]

(10-18-2009 01:18 AM)Lynne Wrote:  This isn't the story about how He finally straightened me out. That post would be ridiculously long. But it is my feeble attempt to thank Him for loving that lost and miserable little four year old through all the years I was a million miles away from His will. He never let me go and I still love Him with all of my heart. He was my first love.

Thank you so much, Lynne. This was a very special testimony, and one that many of us can relate to in some ways .... it's amazing how Jesus deals with children. Sometimes people sneer at "child evangelism," or think that teaching kids in Sunday School is a kind of second-class ministry; but it's not "second-class" for the children who first learn of Jesus that way...

Sometime, for the purposes of this section, we'd love to hear how he finally "straightened you out!" But there's no hurry. We're just grateful that He did, as He did with all of us, and that you're here among us. You're a joy.

[Laura]

Awwww Lynne! Thank you for sharing that...I don't know if anyone else picked up on it as they read your testimony, but I sensed an innocence and simplicity to your complicated story that can only come from Him.

[Here Am I]

That testimony really touched my heart, sister.

I know how I'd feel about those who tried to rip you away from the Lord, who did not 'suffer' you to come unto Him.

And despite all their efforts, they failed! The Lord held you and comforted you all those years. What a wonderful testimony of His mercy, grace and LOVE. Amen.

[anneBiblestone]

(10-18-2009 01:18 AM)Lynne Wrote:  I was born into a vehemently atheistic family. My brother was eighteen years old and my sister was sixteen when I was born. I was accidentally conceived, my mom was suicidal but swears I personally as a fetus kept her from killing herself (crazy Mom), and my parents' marriage was long burned out.

When I was four years old we moved and the new neighbors invited me to go along with their kids to church but I don't remember what kind of church it was. I do remember being told Jesus loves me because He loves all the little children and the Bible tells me so. I was starved for love as my mom was mentally ill and my dad was gone a lot so my brother and sister basically raised me until they went to college and abandoned me. I fell in love with Jesus. In that nursery class they taught me stealing was wrong. I had taken a toy from my playmate because I wanted it. I was overwhelmed by a conviction of guilt and returned the toy. I've never stolen anything since. I don't think I attended more than a couple of times because my mom had a huge, never to resolved feud with those neighbors and they quit speaking.

I insisted on praying every night and made my mom listen. She wasn't happy about it and told me to just pray to myself, so I did. Somehow I wound up with a glow in the dark Jesus. I clutched it to myself all night every night (I was a sleepwalking, nightmare screaming, insomniac little kid) until one of the four adults in my life told me it was radioactive and would give me cancer and they took it away. My parents bought a camping trailer second hand and it came with a picture of Jesus (the long haired beautiful Jesus looking slightly up) varnished on a slice of a tree and I insisted on keeping it and had them hang it on my bedroom wall where I could see it from my bed. Another neighborhood mother held Bible studies in her home for the kids. I came back rhapsodizing about Heaven to my Mom but she told me no one knows anything about God or Heaven and pulled me out of it. The woman teaching the class never let me play with her kids again. Mom must have said something pretty bad to her.

I'm just going to say that Jesus talked to me. He told me things I verified in the Bible years later. I know I was severely ill many times over and some of our conversations were held while I had high convulsive fevers, but that doesn't explain it away.

I never went to church again but I always loved Jesus. I became an atheist and I still loved Jesus; I know, that makes no sense. I was a wayward, alcoholic, drug using, anorexic, self-mutilating, suicidal, young occultist and I still loved Jesus. I have loved Jesus since the minute they told me about Him.

This isn't the story about how He finally straightened me out. That post would be ridiculously long. But it is my feeble attempt to thank Him for loving that lost and miserable little four year old through all the years I was a million miles away from His will. He never let me go and I still love Him with all of my heart. He was my first love.

What an awesome testimony Lynne. I love Jesus too.

[chriskjv]

That is a great testimony.. Do you still have the picture of Jesus from the camper?

[Lynne]

(10-19-2009 10:49 PM)chriskjv Wrote:  That is a great testimony.. Do you still have the picture of Jesus from the camper?

No, I lost track of it. I have a lot of stuff in my mom's basement. My sister inherited the house so if she hasn't tossed it out, I may get it back someday. I haven't had the heart to go home yet (bad circumstances surrounding Mom's passing.) Here it is:



Head of Christ, Warner Sallman, 1941

[chriskjv]

Thank you.. That is the picture I was thinking of..